Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. – Psalm 55:22 (ESV)
The other night I experienced the first panic attack I have had in a very long time. I let life roll ahead of me. I allowed stress to get a toe-hold. All my striving and working hard to try to be perfect failed me.
I was so focused on a mistake I had made that I lost sleep. I got worried.
I got anxious.
I am not perfect. I truly do not believe I possess the capability to be perfect. So, why do my imperfections bug me? Because I never want to disappoint.
I never want to let anyone down.
And that, I confess, is ego. Nothing less. It is an indicator that I am not spending enough time with God. He knows how busy my life is. He knows I have a lot going on.
But, the simple truth, my time with God is not for His benefit.
My faith is not something He needs.
Jesus lived and died and rose again for me.
The Father forgives me of all my sin because He loves me.
God does not need me, but I simply cannot live without Him.
I am not perfect, but God is.
And He reminded me of that fact, at 1:30 the other morning. He stepped into my trouble, threw light on my darkness, showed me He is always with me.
There is nothing beyond God. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to worry about the results. We don’t have to try to wrest control over every aspect of our lives.
God is God. I am not. But He loves me. I am His child, and He cares for me with a depth of live I cannot fathom.
That’s for you, too.
I am grateful for my little panic attack the other night. It reset my heart and put me back on track. God used it to remind me that He comes first. He is God.
Rest in Him. Trust in Him.